What is the book Difficult Conversations about?

What is the book Difficult Conversations about?

Good communication is important both in formal negotiations and in daily life. This book explores what makes some conversations difficult, why people avoid having difficult conversations, and why people often manage difficult conversations poorly.

What are the three conversations that characterize difficult conversations?

Step 1: Prepare by walking through the “three conversations.” Every difficult conversation is really three conversations in one: the What Happened conversation, the Feelings conversation, and the Identity conversation.

Who wrote difficult conversations?

Sheila Heen
Douglas StoneBruce Patton
Difficult Conversations/Authors
One of the best business books I’ve ever read is Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen.

What is the first step in a difficult conversation?

6 steps to help you tackle difficult conversations

1. Listen up.
2. Be clear about how you feel and what you want.
3. Look at the issue from their perspective.
4. If things aren’t going to plan, take a break.
5. Agree to disagree.
6. Look after yourself.

How do I get through to anyone?

As a communicator, note these seven steps you can do to improve your delivery, and recognize the situation to increase how often your message is heard:

1. Put Yourself In Their Shoes.
2. Get To The Point.
3. Observe Listening Styles.
4. Adapt Your Method And Message.
5. Call Out Obstacles.
6. Validate Emotions.
7. Know When To Put It On Hold.

What are the 3 conversations?

The three conversations: how it works

• Conversation 1: initial contact. “How can I connect you to things that will help you get on with your life – based on your assets, strengths and those of your family and neighbourhood?
• Conversation 2: when people are at risk.
• Conversation 3: when long-term support is needed.

What tools are needed for difficult discussion?

6 Tools for Handling Difficult Conversations

• Show up. When leaders don’t know what to say, they sometimes pull back, feeling silence is safer than potentially saying something awkward.
• Lean on others’ words.
• Skip the clichés.
• Avoid comparisons.
• Listen more.
• Resolve less.

How do you have difficult conversations with your partner?

1. Give up the need to be right.
2. Choose the right time to talk.
3. Start the conversation positively.
4. Stay focused on the problem at hand.
5. While your partner is talking, just listen.
6. Reflect what you hear even if you don’t agree.
7. Fight fair.
8. Try to find something you agree with.

How do you start a tough conversation?

These tips can help ease tough talks.

1. Give up the need to be right.
2. Choose the right time to talk.
3. Start the conversation positively.
4. Stay focused on the problem at hand.
5. While your partner is talking, just listen.
6. Reflect what you hear even if you don’t agree.
7. Fight fair.
8. Try to find something you agree with.

What are some examples of difficult conversations at work?

Examples of difficult conversations at work

• Turning down an employee’s idea.
• Encouraging an employee to improve their performance.
• Resolving conflict between two or more employees.
• Terminating a position.
• Telling investors your business is losing money.
• Asking vendors for new invoice payment terms.

What makes a difficult conversation for a leader?

There are certain conversations all leaders dread: the ones in which we have to deliver bad news, discuss a sensitive or “political” subject, or talk about a project or meeting that’s gone wrong. The mere thought of having these difficult conversations fills you with anxiety, and distracts you from other work.

Why do so many conversations fail to start?

Learning Conversations. If starting a conversation is the choice, then the authors offer ways to make productive openings. Most conversations fail because people begin by describing the problem from their own perspective, which implies a judgement about the other person and so provokes a defensive response.

Is it worth having a difficult conversation with someone?

It is not worth embarking on a difficult conversation if you do not have a goal that makes sense. One common, but infeasible, goal is to change the other person. Three goals that do support conversation are to learn the other’s story, to express your own views and emotions, and to problem-solve.

What’s the best way to start a conversation?

Instead, start conversations from the perspective of a “third story” that describes (or at least acknowledges) the difference between the parties views in neutral terms. The opening should then invite the other party to join in a conversation seeking mutual understanding or joint problem solving.